M & G, Atlanta 03/09/07

The Trifecta Weekend, Part One

I hadn’t been to Atlanta in maybe four years. It’s not my favorite place on Earth – I hate the traffic, the street signs are confusing, and a friend of mine was mugged there. But every time I say I will not return, something pulls me back. Last time it was Alton Brown (booksigning, Barnes and Noble) … this time it was one Mr. Taylor Hicks. At The Tabernacle, no less.

Yeah, like I’m gonna skip that because of traffic.

Atlanta is only about 4 hours from my house, but I decided to take the whole day off rather than the previously planned half day. I figured it would be a long night so I wanted to sleep in.

I got up around 7 (hey – when you normally rise at 5:15, that’s sleeping in), packed, got dressed, cleaned out the car. We (Mom and I) had planned to leave around 9, so I got a cup of coffee a few minutes before and decided to check my e-mail for any last minute schedule changes. And there it was. The e-mail I had really hoped NOT to receive:

Gah! Now what??

All I can say is that that put an end to breakfast – there was no way I could eat with my stomach in an instant knot. I had some brainstorming to do.

To be perfectly honest, I never thought I would get that e-mail. Besides never getting e-mails from HQ, there are so many people buying tix through the website (and so many Boogiers already getting M&Gs) what were the odds? Basically, I was caught completely unprepared. So I did the one thing I could think of: I spent the next hour burning a special mix onto two CDs. Yeah, I know – the man probably has a gazillion CDs at this point. I’m willing to bet he doesn’t have a mix quite this strange, though. My musical tastes can best be described as “insanely eclectic”: if I like it, I like it. No rhyme or reason. And while I am not going to tell you every song on the CDs (I want this to be a one-of-a-kind mix for a one-of-a-kind man), I will say that I included selections from Afro Celt Sound System, James Cotton, and The Chipmunks. And Lord help me, I couldn’t stop myself – I put “Shake That Thing” by King Proehl on there. Hope he gets a kick out of that.

As I was printing out the labels, a bit of inspiration hit me and I visited my blog. There, I pulled up my Anniversary Post and printed it out (minus the video links, of course) and (in a move I am still questioning) I go to my Smith’s Olde Bar recap … and hit print. So now, somewhere in Taylor’s possession, is my recap – unabridged, my dears. Everything from The Smilies to my ripped pants to arguing with Paul Bunyan at the stage door in my vain attempt to get the phone to Brian (because his dad was on the conference call).

I must be crazy.

Part Two

The drive to Atlanta is (thankfully) quite uneventful. Since I didn’t have time before we left, Mom and I listen to the newly burned CDs (to make sure they are okay) with fingers crossed. If anything was wrong with them, there wouldn’t be anything I could do about it. Turns out they are good.

In between trying to get me to eat something (sorry, I just can’t), Mom and I chat. It’s been a while since we had nothing else to do but just talk. That’s the main reason I love road trips. She asks me what I printed out so I tell her. She barely blinks (she never read that recap) and said “Okay.”

We rolled into Atlanta right on time and I called Katja from the car (Mom’s cell phone). I went up to the room and there she was: Katja. Live and in the flesh – and just as cute as could be. She very sweetly welcomed me and handed me a present: a red guitar t-shirt and an Outi original hat! I love this girl!

Katja and I rushed back downstairs, retrieved Mom, and started out walking toward the Tabernacle.

It gets a bit blurry here. I know we somehow made it into the line and I know we could see the buses (eep!) This is where I got to meet a LOT of new people. Naming names is always a stupid idea (because I tend to leave out very important folks), but … Orca and Phile were there! A good portion of the late-night Boogie Crew was represented (they live out West, it’s daytime for Katja, and I have mild insomnia – it’s a match made in the Internet).

Janibeth came over (I’ve met her a few times) and there was Claire (staking out the very front of the line) and Gina and hubby (they are a hysterical couple!) While I wasn’t spreading it around, word got out about the meet and greet. Gina’s husband apparently really wants to meet Taylor – he asked me “Do you need a husband for the day?” Everybody wanted to know what the papers I was carrying were. Screams of laughter rose from the group when I told them what it was. CLMM and Robin4T just rolled their eyes and stifled giggles. Mom says to me at one point, “I really need to read that when we get home.” hehe

Part Three

At some point, Mom decided she was hungry, so we went across the street with Janibeth and her friend (I am so sorry – I can’t think of her name) to Ted’s. We were seated towards the back and there were a bunch of Soul Patrollers in there! Our waitress came over (Anita) and she was a spitfire! She cracked me up. She asked how we were doing. My Mom was just a little excited and spouted, “We’re great! We’re here to see Taylor!”

Anita lit up! “Taylor Hicks? Y’all are are here for that? Oh, well I just love that boy! He’s my baby!”

She just doubled her tip.

We placed our orders and when all I asked for was a root beer float (I’d been queasy since checking my e-mail), she gave me “the look” – you know, that look Mom gives you when you say all you want for breakfast is cold pizza.

Me: “I’m not very hungry.”
Anita: “Well what’s wrong, honey?”
Mom: “She’s going to go meet Taylor later!”
Anita: “Well, shoot! You’re my new best friend, girl! I’m comin’ with ya’!”

I loved that woman. If I’d been thinking straight I would have gotten her picture.

Shortly after we were served, Legacy came in! I hadn’t seen her since Destin and she was such a nice sight to see. Legacy is one of the warmest, funniest people! I just love all her stories.

********************************************************************************

When I couldn’t sit still any longer, I excused myself and went back across the street (leaving most of the float and pretty much all of my beer on the table). There were lines everywhere – a line by the buses, a line at the gate, a line at the will-call. Sheesh! I went on down to the will-call window (supposed to be there before 4:30) and who did I see? Possum!! She’d won herself a M&G, too! Possum is a dear – she was my roomie in Mobile and I have missed her around the Board. Darned real life has been keeping her away. Feh.

Anyway, she looked a little shellshocked, as did most of us milling around the will-call.

I was suffering a bit of tunnel-vision, as in I didn’t really know what was going on around me. Time was a bit of a blur as well (I never did get my watch fixed) so who the heck knows when Robin4T and CLMM showed up. And bcath and hickifino. And I think Janibeth came and went.

Katja showed us all what she had in that wonderful bag of hers. We all squealed with delight when she showed us the drawings, and we laughed like crazy over the Rajaton sings ABBA CD. Fantastic!!

Part Four

So, we missed a big party by standing over by will-call. A local radio DJ showed up and plugged Claire’s iPod into his van speakers (they were big ones on the exterior of the vehicle). Everybody was dancing and singing. My Mother apparently gave the DJ a lesson in Taylor 101 – telling him about Taylor and what songs he should be playing.

“Why don’t you play Taylor?” she demanded. LOL!

We heard screams and squees at one point. Turns out Taylor was outside the bus (they were filming the CNN spot).

After a while, I went back down to the entrance line to see if Orca wanted me to take Taylor the card she had brought for him, but it turns out she got to give it to him herself by the bus. Yay, Orca! And she showed me her picture with Brian Less. She was just glowing.

I think this was about the time the Fox News guy showed up. He had done a brief interview with Taylor prior to the CNN people showing up. He seemed very interested in talking to several of us. You should have seen the look on his face when we told him about Katja (I’m pleased he put her on camera) and there was another woman there who had come from England. He spoke with her, too.

Cool.

Eventually I went back to the will-call area and they finally opened the window. If I hadn’t been keeping up with this stuff online I probably would have been miffed, but by now it’s fairly common knowledge that none of this operates on a good time schedule. It’s probably driving Taylor crazy (he said something about punctuality being very important to him in a recent interview).

After retrieving our envelopes, we were herded around to the side of the building to … another line. What fun!

Part Five

I find myself standing in a parking lot with Tee and several other people I don’t know. While I am certain that CLMM and Robin are around somewhere, the sunlight and my nerves keep me from seeing them. Most people are playing with their cameras, anxiously chattering to the folks next to them, or sitting on the curb looking like they could puke at any moment.

This is one reason why I didn’t want to do this. At one point I almost went back to the regular line, but I knew my Mom would give me nothing but grief about it so I stay. I decide to number the pages of my Smith’s recap (an unnecessary task, but one that will occupy my mind for a few moments – FYI: that sucker’s 17 pages long! I had no idea.) There is a solitary car in this lot that I use as my “desk” – until I hear a man’s voice “Hey! What do you think this is – a table?” I start to apologize, but he just laughs and says the car is very old so who gives a crap. Suddenly I find myself in a conversation about the reliability of Chevy’s versus Hondas and how trucks can get so many more miles than cars.

He’s cute and flirty so we chat. I’m getting less nervous by the minute. Then he says the words I could have done without:

“My wife and I are really looking forward to the show!”
“Me, too,” I say, “Is this your first Taylor show?”
“Yep! Well, see ya’ inside!”

WTH, man? I know it is not my imagination – Tee tells me later she backed away from our conversation because he was clearly flirting with me, and we were hitting it off.

Feh. Men.

Anyway …

Part Six

A door at the top of a long ramp opens. A man sticks his head out and tells us to put on our wristbands.

I go blind for a moment.

I quickly recover, however I find that this simple paper wristband has become the world’s most difficult puzzle. It is right up there with the Riddle of the Sphinx. How the heck does this thing work again?

I must look pretty pitiful (because I feel pretty pitiful) when suddenly my “California Mommy” CLMM comes to my rescue. She takes the wristband and offers comforting words (she is probably laughing at me, but I am too stunned to realize it) as she attaches it to me. I thank her as she gives me a gentle nudge toward the door … and I step inside.

Part Seven

This is not a pleasant place. I have the briefest flash of “The Time Machine” and am fairly certain that a Morlock is going to appear and make me his dinner. The only thing missing is the tornado siren and the whips.

It’s dark, it’s dank … it smells. And there is very odd lighting: red. This will make for very interesting pictures. I step to the railing and look over to see Taylor at a table, already seeing somebody.

And there’s another line. I’m gettin’ good at this!

Part Eight

I went down the stairs and this is where it gets a bit fuzzy. I remember standing with Tee in line. I believe Robin4T was right there, too (were you?) Katja was at the table (I could hear “Finland” from the conversation, but that was it). An older gentleman (I’m sorry I don’t know his name, but I have seen him before) came down the line to tell us that Taylor would not be talking much, if at all.

That’s okay, ’cause I’m thinking I am probably gonna choke up, too. If not from nerves, then from fear of breathing in the air in this room. Seriously – they couldn’t run a vacuum? Run a rag across the tables? Empty the freakin’ overflowing ashtrays? I’m afraid to touch anything.

When I get to the table, I put my stuff down and to my horror - I can’t shut up. Just … words are spilling out of my mouth and I have no control.

Don’t ask me what I said, ’cause I ain’t too sure. I just remember a few snippets.

I know I addressed all three of them (Bill? – photo guy; Taylor; and the older gentleman).
I know I said something innocuous like “How y’all doin’?”
I know Taylor said something like, “I’ve been better. Just trying to save my voice for tonight.”
I know I said, “That’s all right – you don’t have to talk to me.”

However, I also know this was just a portion of the words spoken during my 30 seconds. You’d think a person couldn’t say that much in that little an amount of time – and you’d be right. I’m pretty sure I didn’t really say anything, just ran off at the mouth.

*sigh*

Oh, for just a minute amount of EJ’s eloquence. I didn’t say one thing I had imagined myself saying to Taylor should I ever get the chance. I didn’t say “Thanks for the music” or “Your original songs are just beautiful” or anything else of consequence.

Oh! And the “photo op” – I wasn’t even paying attention. I believe they all had to tell me to turn to the camera.

The one moment that I think was okay – when they finally got me to look at the camera, I laughed and said, “Oh! Sorry, this is my first time! He’s the pro!” and I pointed at Taylor with a “gun” gesture. That got a good grin out of him.

As I was leaving, Older Gentleman assured me that they loved “bus music” and would definitely give the CDs a listen. I said I tried to put some stuff on there that Taylor may not know, and the man chuckled.

Then, as if I hadn’t made a big enough turd of myself, I had to go back in to get my purse which I had laid on the bar so it would be out of my way. Feh.

My only saving grace is that Taylor meets so many people, that the morons must all blur together into this amalgam of stupidity in his brain. All the people who can’t form a sentence in front of him, all the people who cry uncontrollably, all the people who babble incessantly – they are but one person in his head.

Hopefully, she doesn’t look like me.